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Key to Contentment

October 28, 2011

In my wallet I have a key. It is decorated with the Jayhawks mascot and it will not open any lock. It reminds me of Kansas.

Our move from the mountainous area of four-seasons and wild lands, our move away from home and friends to Kansas didn’t start off on the right foot. Since I was 7 months pregnant with child number 3 and JP was almost 3 years old and Nicky just 18 months, my husband went on the house hunting trip without me. It wasn’t that big of a deal since we were going to rent rather than buy.

Now Paul has great taste, just different priorities. When he returned with smiling face and good news that he had secured a 6-month  lease for his growing brood, I began to pepper him with questions.

“How big is the kitchen? What color is the carpet? Does it have over-head lighting? Washer and dryer hook-ups? Dishwasher? …???”

“I don’t know, but it has a huge, detached, double-car garage.” 🙂

What no one knew until that first fateful night was that the sunken family room, the original garage, was a haven for crickets. We started referring to the room as the “cricket room.”

I missed the scenery and the landscape. I missed my friends. I missed my doctor. The retired military OB was nothing like my Birkenstocks clad, Le Leche League organizer, family practice doctor who had been with me through two pregnancies already.

At 12 days late Gary arrived right on time, perfect and beautiful, but now there was absolutely nothing to look forward too.

I was unhappy. I was discontent. I wanted to take my babies, leave the crickets and go home. I had no activities to occupy my time, so during that blessed nap time I devoured large portions of scripture, often 10 – 15 chapters at a time.

I knew that God wanted me to be content, but I did not want to be content in Kansas. I hated Kansas.

I even knew that God would help me be content, but I resisted. There was NO WAY I would ever be happy in this flat land with trees that grew on a slant with the prevailing wind.

After two weeks of Spirit warring with my flesh, the Spirit won. I humbled myself to admit my discontentment was born of my selfishness and it was sin. I wanted to be happy again. I repented of my sin and asked my faithful God to forgive me  and grant me contentment.

It really was that simple. God changed me. No fireworks, just chirping crickets. The only thing that was different was me; but I was changed!

For the next two years I made friends with the most genuine, kind, and humble people. I saw sunrises over green fields and ripening grains rippling like a sea in the breeze. I saw highways full of combines and their crews. And it was beautiful.

We even moved to a new home just outside of town with a huge kitchen and a double car garage and crickets chirping outside my windows.

Returning to Kansas from vacation that summer, our mini-van filled with precious sleeping children, gliding along the rural highways, Nicky awakens, sits bolt-upright and says, “What is THAT smell?”

“It is just the feed-lots, honey.”

Her reply the sweetest, gentlest, “Ahhh, we are home.”

My feelings exactly. “Thanks, Lord, I am home.  No, really, THANK YOU, LORD! I am happily home.

We live in Colorado now. I love the mountains, 4-seasons, and my friends. But I have this key in my wallet. It is decorated with the Jayhawks mascot and it will not open any lock. It reminds me of Kansas.

It reminds me of the lesson I learned there: Contentment isn’t about what is outside of me. It is about what is inside me, an attitude of the heart. God, who values my contentment so much that He will straight-up give it to me when I want His will above all else.

.. for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.  Philippians 4:11b

Are you struggling with contentment? Quit struggling and let Him work His miracle. I promise, He will.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Rosie P:otter permalink
    October 28, 2011 10:03 pm

    Beautiful Candy ~

    Our God is able to make a prison a place of praise! Paul and Silas experienced it.

    He has promised He will never leave us, so we thank Him, and we are content.

  2. Cheryl Manney permalink
    October 29, 2011 8:53 am

    Wonderful! ❤

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